First Draft Blues

Not every word needs to be a gem. Not in the first draft anyway. So why is it so hard to get the words on the page? I’ve got I’m-thinking-way-too-far-ahead-itis and it’s getting in the way of the writing.

I know exactly how I want my project to turn out, so I keep trying to get the work to a finished level on the first try. And I need to stop. I know if I keep on this road, I’m not going to even want to put fingers to keys and I’ll stop writing altogether.

Putting the words on the page was easy to do when I was writing NaNoWriMo. My self-editor was banished to the outer limits and I happily typed away at my story. Nothing was really at stake. I knew my NaNo story was unlikely to have a life after the month was over.

But this current project is different. I’m excited about it. I think about it every day. It’s consuming all my spare thinking time—well, what little there is among the holiday planning, finishing my teaching chores for the semester, and family. I have a goal to have it published by spring and I know it’s doable. (Yes, I’m self-publishing, but that’s another story.) In other words, this time I really care.

Okay. Enough. Right now, I’m giving myself a good mental kick in the pants to forget perfection and just get the words on the page. I’d love to hear your strategies or “been there, done thats” because I know what’s next is not going to be easy. But for now–

Kick. Ouch! Onward.

Filling the NaNo Void

Okay. NaNoWriMo has been over for almost two weeks now and how much writing are you doing? Are you writing every day? Or has your word count since November 30^th dwindled to an embarrassingly low daily average?  If your daily writing pattern has changed back to a not-very-inspiring normal, I’m betting you are not alone. It’s hard to keep going when such a great incentive has run its course.

I have a solution, but here’s a little background first. I’m part of a small writers’ group that meets once a month and during July this year, we set ourselves a challenge of writing every day. We kept our personal goals to ourselves, but we let each other know by the end of the day (and sometimes very close to midnight) that we had reached our goals by sending an e-mail with the word “done” in the subject line. The idea came from an article that I read in a writers’ magazine. An author said that this is how her writing group works every day.

For the month of July we met our goals, did lots of writing, and enjoyed reaching our “dones.” However, in August most of us went back to our everything-else-is-more-important-than-writing modes and … well you can imagine the rest.

If you’re missing NaNoWriMo and would like an incentive to get some writing “done,” I’m proposing a Twitter hashtag #ididthewriting. You set your own writing goal. It may be as simple as just thinking about the book and doing some brainstorming. It might be 500 words a day until the chapter is done. And you are free to adapt the goal to your life and writing needs at the moment and to not tell anyone what it is.

The purpose is to give yourself a daily reminder that you are a writer and to honour that by doing something writerly every day. If  you’re not on Twitter, post a “done” comment on my blog page or on an email to me at wright underscore writer at hotmail dot com. Now’s the time to think about what you want to do with your writing life and join me at #ididthewriting.

When you stop writing, who loses?

How long can you stay away from writing? I might last a day or two, or even a week, but the days I’m not writing are not good days. And, I hate that it’s just not that hard to put other things in my life that, like the gas in Boyle’s experiment, expand to occupy all the space–and leave no room for the writing. But they do, and writing doesn’t just take a back seat; it doesn’t even get on the bus.

Because I’m a teacher, the temptation is to take papers to grade wherever I go so I’m busy during the various “waits” in my life. Why aren’t I holding a pen and paper instead and working on my story? The reality is that the marking will always be there and I will always make time for it because it has to be recorded and returned in a timely manner. Writing, on the other hand, has no demands on it. If it’s not done, the only person disappointed is me.

I’ve decided to stop being disappointed. If food will get cooked and groceries bought and laundry washed, then why aren’t my words being written? It’s as important to me as all those things—even more, since I’ve never felt my soul was particularly well fed by folding towels, choosing pears, or putting a pot roast in the oven (although I do enjoy the results.)

I think writers need their own Declaration of Independence; one that honours the pursuit of writing happiness and celebrates it. Here’s mine: I declare that writing is essential to my life and I will make time for it every day.

There, that feels better.

Writing and Nerve

For me, filling the page takes a lot of nerve—and I don’t think I’m alone. First I have to get past the shrill nasty voice that says, “How can you possibly think that you are capable of writing anything new or interesting about this subject?” I don’t like her very much, but she visits most days I sit down to write. I’m getting better at pushing her out of the way, but she generally gets her say before I do.

And even when I get past her and start to write, her little creepy cousin perches on my shoulder and whispers, “Are you sure?” every time I finish a paragraph. I don’t like her very much either. But she eventually shuts up as I get rolling and start to feel that I’m on the right track. It can be a long wait sometimes before the writing drowns out the voices, but when it does, I swear I even sit taller in my chair.

At the beginning of a project, I’m up and wandering away from the keyboard every 250 words or so, hoping, I suppose, that the voices will be gone when I get back. No such luck. But each time I sit back down, it’s a little easier and when everyone finally shuts up I can write for a long stretch without a break and begin to feel like a writer again.

My voices are their loudest and most persistent when I’m not regularly at the keyboard. And that’s been the state of my writing life lately. I’ve got out the calendar and once again carved out some daily writing time. If I tame the voices daily, their whining gets shut down until they don’t even bother to visit. Then the writing becomes a pleasure—still hard work and still second-guessed regularly—but a pleasure.

And I start today.

Explaining the new writing project

Hmmm. There are times I wish I’d stuck to my NaNoWriMo story and just left things alone. It was so much easier to say I was writing a romantic suspense novel about 2 people who are kidnapped by a bad guy, escape, and set out to rescue the bad guy’s next likely victims, while avoiding the police who want them for murder. Well, okay, it’s easy for me to explain.

So what am I writing? A hands-on writing guide for young writers. And that’s a lot harder to explain—even if I can get past the glazed oh-it-must-be-a-teacher-thing look. I finally figured out what my problem was.

When I talked about the romantic suspense novel, my friends got it because they were readers. They understood bad guys and murder and romance and how that all works. They could see the movie.

But my book is by a writer for writers, and that’s a lot harder to get excited about if you’re not a writer, too. I explain that my book is not for teachers; it’s for young writers, ages 12-18 who don’t care if they ever see a black-line master in their entire life. It’s for young writers who enjoy a sense of humour and some attitude. It’s for young writers who don’t want to brainstorm or create mind maps every time they sit down to write, because they have a great story in their heads already and they just want to write the damn thing, the best way they can. I’ve been around these kids for years and they’re amazing, creative, energetic, and can’t wait to tell their stories. They also want to be taken seriously as writers—not as students—and that’s what I want my book to do.

Whew! That feels better. Thanks for listening.

Stay tuned for more as I get this project into shape and embark on my experiment in self-publishing.

Now, back to the book.

A Short “Bliss” Moment

It was dark when I woke up this morning, so I rolled over all ready to go back to sleep. Six o’clock was just too early for a Saturday morning.

My book had other ideas.

A chapter walked in and said, “Get writing me, NOW, before you lose me.” So that’s what I did. Bleary-eyed I began clicking keys and by 7 AM, I was wide awake and feeling like the luckiest person in the world.

These are the “bliss” moments when everything comes together in one lovely, creative, exciting lump. Believe me, I know these moments are short lived. So I’ve learned to welcome them when they do arrive, unbidden and cold-handed on my warm back in the way-too-early morning.

Tomorrow will be an entirely different story; I’m enjoying now.

Deadlines and Passion

Yesterday I set a deadline for finishing my book. It’s one I have to stick to or two other goals that I have will not be accomplished. This deadline is unbreakable—and what a motivator it can be.

Is it the reason I woke up this morning thinking about “the book?” I don’t know, but this moment is important to me. There’s a point when I’m working on a writing project that it moves from being just an idea to being a passion. From now on this book will live in every spare moment I have to think about it. When I have any time to sit down, a pen will be in my hand so I can write a little more or plan a little more. This is the fun part and I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.

I will start arriving early to meet friends for coffee so I can scribble some more words toward my goal. I will make and constantly revise calendars to make sure that among all my other commitments, there is time to write. My days will become longer so that I can wake up early and write and stay up later and get the other jobs in my life done. There will be less TV and more MP3. And I will sing in the car on the way to work a lot more because all of this makes me happy.

 For me, this is the best part of my writing process. What’s the best part for you?

Stretching my legs at NaNo Station 20,000+

It’s time for me to get off the NaNoWriMo train for a while and do some thinking. Until a bout of feeling physically crummy knocked me down for a few days, I was on board writing to quota and enjoying myself. A good thing. My story had holes in it big enough for a Twilight fan club meeting. Another good thing, since it was a first draft. I was writing every day. A great thing. And I was enjoying my characters and the trouble I was getting them into. Also a good thing.

But—

Yup there’s a ‘but.’

I have realized that I’m a purposeful sort of person. And though the writing has been fun, I want to write something with—if I may be so bold to say so—A PLAN! I have reached the point where I have decided that, if I’m going to set aside time to write every night, it should be something about which I have a clear vision. I’ve been writing for fun and it’s been fabulous for getting the creative wheels to turn and to get my commitment to writing every day back again. Now, I desperately want to take that energy and that revived excitement and put it to use—at least my version of use. And thank you NaNoWriMo for some much-needed writer CPR!

I have a project that has been lurking and begging me to get to work for a long time. It plays to two passions of mine–young people and the love of writing. And I’m going to go for it.

My NaNoWriMo daily word count is now ‘counting’ toward something purposeful. Nervous but eager,  I’m getting off one train and getting on another. New direction, new excitement, new challenges—but—that’s why I’m a writer.

Photo via Flickr:http://www.flickr.com/photos/78469770@N00/

How to blindside the internal editor

I worked on my NaNoWriMo novel tonight after a brief hiatus. I didn’t go back over what I’d written before, or even try to start where I’d left off. I knew there was going be a scene later in the story in which my hero and heroine meet up with the hero’s former girlfriend. I really wanted to write that scene and have some fun with my heroine (my POV character)—and so that’s exactly what I did.

I’ve done this a few times in the course of my NaNo novelling. If a scene seems clear to me I write it. Then I go back and fill in the bits in between later. There’s no way my internal critic can get up to high doh about continuity of mood or voice or action or anything else, because I’ve taken her out of the equation with my “I’ll fix it later” mantra.

I’m sure my internal editor will declare serious payback when it comes to pulling the whole thing together into an actual readable story. But that’s fine with me. She can just sit and do her knitting until then. For now, I’m enjoying the ride.

Anyone else play around with your stories like this? I’d love to hear how it works for you.

Success is not measured by word count.

Yesterday, Laura LaRocca, fellow NaNoWriMo participant and writing buddy, wrote on Facebook, “On some days, success is not measured by word count.” That’s where I am at the end of the second week of NaNo. I have written over 19,000 words, but am many short of today’s NaNo word count goal. But the word count I have is so many more than I had two weeks ago, and 6,000 more than I wrote in July when I conscientiously wrote every day for a month. I have been successful in other ways, too. The pile of test papers that I have to mark is diminishing, I worked outside in glorious warm sunshine yesterday, my kitchen is clean, and I watched a mushy movie with my husband last evening while my son wrote up a NaNoWriMo storm and had a blast doing it.

This is a day to be proud of my accomplishments—and to also keep writing and recommit to the next 2 weeks. If I can write every day for a month, just think where I can be if I write every day for the rest of my life.

So, how do I keep the incentive going? Why did I write every day in July and then stop?

In July, I had a group of writerly friends who agreed to a challenge for the month. We each chose our own particular daily writing goal. When we had completed our goal for the day, we sent an email to the rest of the group with the word “done” in the subject line. NaNo makes you accountable to post your progress and lets you see what your writing buddies are doing every day; our “done” challenge worked in a similar way. It was important for us to get our “done” email send by the end of the day, some scrambling to send their emails just before midnight in order to make the deadline.

The idea of “done” came from an article that I read in a writers’ magazine in which an author said she belonged to a writing group who did this. I proposed it as a challenge to our group and everyone agreed it was a great success. And nearly everyone lost the daily writing habit when the month was over.

I’ve already talked to a couple of writer friends about keeping up the NaNo habit after November with our own “done” project and I believe we’ll make it work. We’re a lot of other things, too: moms, wives, knitters, cooks, teachers, TV and nature watchers. But when the writer piece of our personal puzzles is missing, the world just isn’t right. Success for us is sitting at the keyboard every day and fitting that writer piece of the puzzle into our lives. It will be good to be “done.”